Parental Pride

Has anyone not seen parents at kids athletic events behaving badly? When you are with parents at a get together do you here parents bragging their kid’s accomplishments? When you ask these parents whether they are proud of their kid’s accomplishments do they not say “yes.” So, let me see….. These parents are proud their kid scored a basket. These parents are proud their kid graduated from college. They are proud of their kid’s medals, trophies, grades, etc. Well, I must be crazy. I am not proud of my kid’s accomplishments. I am happy for my kids.

I will take my three kids and stack them up against any family in the world. My family boasts a kid who finished a 5-year program in accounting in a prestigious college in 4 years. This kid only borrowed $5000 in student loans which was paid off in three years (he worked his way through college). We have a kid who wears a Green Beret. We have two West Pointers, two combat veterans, and a paratrooper. Two kids have 2 masters degrees each. Hell, one went to Harvard. One kid was an MMA champion (won a belt). Two medaled in world Ju Jitsu competition. They have been champion swimmers and runners. They have been academic all-stars. They are moms and dads. I could rant and rave for pages about their accomplishments and accolades. And through all that I am not proud of those accomplishments. Happy for them? Yes. Proud? No.

Does this mean I am not proud of my kids? No. I am very proud of my kids – to the point of tears and a burst heart. But I am not proud of what they have done but of the people they are. My kids don’t do drugs (I can’t even get one to go out for a beer with me). My kids are honest, forthright, truth telling. They care and they love. They are loyal and love this country. They give. When life knocks them down they get up and simply ask for a second opportunity. They are determined and brave. They do not fear failure. They are gracious in victory and defeat. They don’t lie, cheat or steal. They believe in God. In short, they are all great people. And this is what I am proud of.

My kids have turned out better than I ever was. They are just super people. I didn’t earn their trophies, medals, and accolades – they did. They should be proud. Me? I am happy for them. They did the work not me. I would like to think, and I pray, that I had a small hand in making them the people they are. I hope I installed some of the guts they display today. If so, of that I am proud. So parents need to see the big picture. Think about the long term. What kind of person do you want your kid to be? Stop fixating on medals or worrying about a stupid soccer game for 10 year-olds. A championship ball game will be meaningless in a few years. Lay off the Refs. Instead, concentrate on raising good men and women.

But then again, I’m an old guy and I don’t get it………

PS – I have a room filled with trophies. My kids don’t want them. My kids know what is important. I don’t know what to do with all their trophies……